How to write online dating email

Once, I wrote no less than two pages based on a girl’s heading to her profile. I thought I was making conversation but all I was making was a girl scared. Give anything longer than three sentences a good, hard look before sending.

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So, “You looked like you were having a blast on your skiing holiday! Where would you most like to go skiing that you haven’t been yet? One hundred words is about right: long enough to include a compliment, to say what caught your eye about their advert, mention something you have in common, and to ask a leading question.

Don’t feel you have to sell yourself or introduce yourself too much – as we’ve said, they’ll definitely visit your profile and read about you there. Plus, the shorter your first message, the more intriguing you’ll be. You might say you’re busy and leading a fun, full life, but if you’re sending messages at 9.00 on a Saturday night, how busy can you be..?

Tailor it to their interests or their work, or even one of their photos.

Ask open questions that require more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ reply, because these are more interesting to answer.

If your profile is half-finished, or Arctic in its brevity, or doesn’t include photos, most likely you won’t receive a reply.

For more advice, check out our top tips for writing your online dating profile. Again, don’t panic – it doesn’t have to be the best, most perfect opening in the history of dating sites. If your match mentions loving a specific film, use a quote from it as your subject.

Struggling to think of the right thing to say to an attractive match?

Here’s match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor with dating advice on how to give great copy.

Anyone who’s ever dated online has had that moment – the blinking cursor, the empty text box, the racing heart, and the brain so temporarily empty, it has tumbleweed running through it. Make yourself a soothing cup of tea, and we’ll talk about how to do it right.

This is basic, but sometimes daters forget that the first thing a match will do when they receive an interesting message is click on the profile of the person who sent it.

If it’s just their dazzling smile or their sparkly blue eyes, that’s fine!

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