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Another possible reason that bisexual women are so highly valued among poly communities could be the scarcity of available or “free-floating” female partners.Whether due to the enduring sexual double standard that allows men far more sexual latitude than women, or men’s biological need to spread their seed, men seem more willing to have multiple-partner relationships and single or available women are rare at many poly community gatherings.

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Many couples who approach poly communities seeking the unicorn are disappointed by the glaring absence of women lining up to be vetted for inclusion in their relationship.

Not only are most poly women already in at least one relationship and thus disqualified from the mandate to be single, but they also tend to be wary of being seen as objects to fill a pre-ordained role instead of three-dimensional people with lives of their own.

In these cases, the “added” woman often transitions from the unicorn to become a “real” (socially acknowledged) partner who has a say in what happens in the relationship as well.

“Not all that” In other cases, men who are able to realize their fantasy of having sex with two women at the same time end up being more peripheral to the actual interaction than they had anticipated.

Scarcity could increase women’s value in relationship, bisexual or not. One reason there are so many bi and heterosexuals in poly communities is that both of these sexual orientations have traditionally been less developed as identities and thus do not already have an existing social niche, so they have had to create their own in the poly community.

Because heterosexuality is the norm, it usually blends in to the social background unless something specifically emphasizes it.We're not really a dating site but many members have met through us and have gone on to form long term relationships.Most of us though have connected with and made a great many friends with all the support and help that goes with it.Bisexuals are frequently invisible as bi, often mistaken as homo or heterosexuals, and either marginalized from or absorbed by gay and lesbian communities.There are few exclusively same-sex relationships among poly men, primarily because, as a friend once told me “Gay men invented open relationships, we don’t need another label to do what we are already doing.” Lesbians also have non-monogamous norms and groups already within their own communities, and may be reluctant to join poly gatherings because of the likelihood that they will encounter unwanted male attention.You'll meet many others just like you in our support forums.

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