Dating a hiv person
Shame and fear was a part of it, but even more so I think there was a part of me that wanted to pretend that HIV hadn't happened to me.That I could go on bad Tinder dates and laugh about them at brunch with my friends, get set up with friends, and pick up a guy when I was out for the night, just like everyone else.Taking care of your health is more adult than playing house with a boyfriend, yet, even though I had been tested for STIs, I had never thought of getting an HIV test.
There was a positive aspect to my HIV, though I didn't know that then.
It woke me up and made me realize what I needed and wanted from a partner.
I kept asking the nurse who took me upstairs at the Margaret Sanger Center in the East Village for a second blood test to confirm the rapid test result.
I was in shock that simply sleeping with probably close to a hundred men throughout my 20s — in college, in Rome, Italy where I lived for five years, in New York City upon my return — and not being strict about using condoms could have such a serious consequence.
I was living in New York City with a boyfriend I'll call Matt when I was diagnosed with HIV. It was my first steady, long-term relationship, and we did what I used to think of as "grown-up" things.
Like having Sunday football parties or fighting in Home Depot about what color to paint an accent wall in our living room.
Even better, it means that there's no risk of sexual transmission, even if I don't use a condom (though I'm better at that now, obviously).
But many people are still unaware of this development in HIV treatment or are unwilling to accept the science because of the stigma that surrounds the virus.
I am HIV positive, but it is undetectable, which means I am one of the estimated 30 percent of the 1.2 million people living with HIV in the United States who cannot transmit the virus.
Undetectable means is that the amount of HIV virus in my blood cannot be detected by a lab test.
I got lucky for a little while and seriously dated a man for about a year, though I had initially lied to him for two months about my status.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating