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A fresh shave followed by a ton of cologne (he’s Dominican, and it’s important to him that people know he’s coming, and know he’s there), and then blow-drying his hair to get that perfect coif. My pops would explain that as a young man in the Dominican Republic, you had to work so hard perfecting yourself, preparing your mask, so that when a young European or American woman came through, she might choose you, as he would put it, might take you home with her, like that was your only way out. At 30, I woke up one day, took a deep breath, looked at her and thought, “I don’t think I can date white women anymore.”Maybe I wouldn’t have broken up with her if it hadn’t been for all the judgment coming my way.

Even years later, my pops still took longer to get ready than my mother and sister combined, delicately taking a black Sharpie to any stray grays that might pop up in his goatee. Later he made his way to New York City, where he met my mother, who is Colombian. Over the years I have dated brown women and black women, but mostly white women.

First, some history: When I was a child, watching my pops get ready to go out was something to behold.

He was married now and no longer had to be “chosen.” But habits ingrained in adolescence can be hard to break. I hadn’t thought about why that was, but when some brown and black people in my community started giving me a hard time about dating white women, I sensed they’d be happier if I stopped.

So early on I learned how important it was to be “chosen,” selected. It’s been a year since I broke up with my girlfriend, and I haven’t told her the real reason. I also got weird vibes from some white people, namely the parents of the women I was dating.

Whether in real life or online, you can land yourself a cute guy, if you only know how. We have great, useful tips that can help boost your dating game.

Browse through our articles to find the best ways to approach him.

Actually, no, I definitely broke up with her because she’s white.

I think I broke up with my last girlfriend because she’s white.

You can use any of these anywhere--may it be in a bar, coffee shop, online, or even the streets.

There are still ways to take action and make him chase you while still keeping it elegant and classy.

You tend to miss all the fun you had with your Ex, how you shared your little wins, even the small fights that lead to cuddles.

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