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But within a day or two, they need more reassurance.They’ve surrendered their capacity to calm down to someone who was a stranger to them a week ago.

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People in our lives are not always going to respond as quickly as we would like.

They’re not always going to RSVP to the party or share our level of enthusiasm for a television show.

There is an expectation that someone who is interested in us must also be available to us at all times. For millennials, five days is the equivalent of somebody going off to war and coming back home.

We are in such a hurry to lock things down as a way of managing our own anxiety and insecurity. After my husband and I went on our first date, he waited five days to ask me out again. Now, of course, I know that he was a mature human being who was simply living his life at that time.

People don’t stop to consider whether less contact might be a potential sign of maturity.

This is why people tend to end up with other people who are at the same level of emotional maturity as themselves.

People who have a higher degree of maturity in their family relationships are likely to seek out a partner who wants the same amount of contact.

I would never say to a someone, “Have you considered that this person is not texting you as much because they’re more mature?

They might stalk them on social media, or stare at their phone trying to decipher old texts.

They’ll talk to all their friends about whether they should dump this person for taking so long to reply.

And the only way they know how to get that capacity back is to end the relationship.

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